I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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