I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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