ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Congratulations! We have a period
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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