im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
