R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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