I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
