Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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