This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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