I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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