honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
