Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
