you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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