Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm passing your future prison.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
