i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize