dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
