I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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