you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
