I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
wow bdsm is so cute
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