Rock
Scissors
Fuck
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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