Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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