Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
