so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
