My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
