I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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