i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
