Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
