Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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