just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Did you pee in the oven last night??
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
