Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize