She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
