He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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