I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
