I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
