I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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