I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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