First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
