you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
