I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
