end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
