Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
