remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
