honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
