she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
