whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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