Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
