Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
