You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
