the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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