i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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