wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
