fuck your aforementioned shoe
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
