I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
