He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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