It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You've changed since you got that strap on
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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