i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
