I love black thongs
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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