...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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