he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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