To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
