I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
