i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Damn victory sex feels great
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
