We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize