i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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