i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
